Back in the day—and I mean way, way back—I used to go all out on Valentine’s Day.

I’d try to think of something sentimental to give him. I’d wrack my brains trying to think of a clever idea. Here is some Valentine’s Day fails or ideas that didn’t quite pan out how I thought they should.

Valentine’s Day Road Signs Declaration

I’d put MAXIMUM EFFORT in this particular idea, as Deadpool would say.

One year, I made signs that read “Happy Valentine’s Day Klay” that went down his road as he went home from work.

I had four signs—one with just one word on each poster—that I staked in the ground. So when he drove down the street, he’d read one word as he went along:





Each sign had a red foil balloon attached to it to make sure they got his attention. Problem was, it was pretty cold this particular Valentine’s Day and the cold air makes the balloons deflate. So they weren’t exactly as perky as I wanted them to be.

He was working with his dad at the time, and so they carpooled to work, so his truck was at his parents.

I also decorated his truck.

I had posters that said “I love you”, balloons, hearts, candy, etc. It looked like Cupid had just taken a big LOVE dump all over his truck.

So I’m anxiously waiting for his phone call to hear his reaction about how awesome this whole thing was.

And finally, he calls.

“Did you put signs up down the street?” he asks.

“Well did you read them?”

“I couldn’t really see.”

Seriously WTF KLAY!

“Well, it must have been your other girlfriend who did it then,” I scoffed back.

This guy could have at least sounded excited about it or turned around to look at them again.

I had to put stakes on those posters, bang them in the ground, and deal with the balloons that wouldn’t stay afloat in freaking freezing-ass temperatures.

Give me some damn credit.

That was hard work—maximum effort.

And I didn’t even get a picture.

Valentine’s Day Slideshow

The next year, I made him a video of pictures of us over the years and put music that we listened to or considered our “songs to each other.” I had to scan each photo back then, crop it, drag it in. This took way too much time—but it was sentimental. And then I discovered I couldn’t burn the video on the CD. So we had to watch it on the computer–and I no longer have the video.

Valentine’s Day Photo Shoot with Brody

Another year, I tried to take pictures of Brody dressed up in Valentine’s Day clothes and surprise him with those, and I had about 39 meltdowns during that whole process. From my toddler not wanting to cooperate to problems with broken photo machines at Walgreens—it seemed as though I was never going to get them printed. It was a mess—a hot mess. (Read that hilarious story here).

Our Love Story Book

For our five year anniversary, I made a book on Shutterfly that I wrote. I  talked about how we met, when we moved to Alaska, got pregnant with Brody—our little love story. Then I had to upload pictures to go along with the book. This took FOREVER. Why do I have to pick something always so difficult?

The Valentine’s Day Playlist

Last year, I wasn’t able to get out of the house, so I made a playlist for him of music that we’ve listened to over the 13 years we’ve been together. I had Kings of Leon to Yellow Card and Gavin Degraw and even the soundtrack from Friday Night Lights (the movie) which was mostly instrumentals, but we loved it. And I even added the song we first “made love” to—it’s not exactly a sweet song—but it made the playlist. #hiphop

This year, I was going to plan ahead. I made the His & Hers Gift Guide for Valentine’s Day so it gave me a good opportunity to really think about what to get him.

So, this year wasn’t that bad, but in the past, I go way over the top and get stressed out way too much.

And you know what? Through all of that, I don’t really remember what he got me. I’m sure they were good, memorable-worthy even, but I’ve had way too many drugs– wine–and meltdowns since then.

Loving and learning,