OK.

Everyone.

Remain.

Calm.

I have finally got some shit out of me–literally.

And I’m a much happier person because of said shit.

So my “Cass Game Face” is back on. I’m ready to kick some cancer’ ass and wore my “Refuse to Sink” shirt my sis got me a while back today to show I’m back to my gangsta-self again.

BIG NEWS.

Beyond the poopsie, I did shower today. 2 for 2! Whhhhhhaaaaaa??

BUT the shower was effin’ freezing and I had NO hot water. Plus, I tried to figure out the shower head and pushed this red button that said “PALL” not “PULL” but “PALL,” and the shower head shot off and hit me in my the forehead.

Who the hell knew that hospital showers could be so dangerous. Now I have a mark with “PALL” on my forehead.

Just kidding… sigh. Only me.

In other “Cass” news, they pushed my transplant day back a day. So I will now receive the donor stem cells on Wednesday, April 8 instead of Tuesday.

Apparently the transplant is a very anti-climatictic deal (pretty much gonna be like a blood infusion or something), so it’s not anything super incredible happening that day anyway. I mean potentially it could be saving my life, so that’s pretty big, but the process itself is pretty lackluster from my understanding.

“Well, dango, dango,” as my husband would say.

I don’t know where he gets sayings like that from. He’s kind of a nut bag–or he has one! LOL… I guess two… TBD.

Actually he says he has “two nuts in one nut bag.”

Ahem, now that we have that cleared up, I suppose we can move forward.

This post is very anatomy/bodily fluids-driven I feel like.

If it grosses you out, I’m in a hospital for at least 21 days so suck it up, buttercup!

Klay said this post is gross. I say “EFF IT. It’s cancer, it’s real. We all poo; it’s life. Get over it.”

On a non-bodily-related issue, I do miss my kids. Klay took Bex to his first doctor appointment without me and he almost weighs 12 lbs. My little chunker. The only concern for him is finding a formula better for his tummy. He has BM-issues… like me.

Apparently I just have shit on the brain cause every where I go to tell you about my life currently, it turns into shit. Maybe this is just shit post and I should just give up while I’m ahead.

I do truly miss the boys though. It’s really difficult for me to think about them and how they will have to understand all of this one day. I think that’s what really gets to me is trying to explain why mommy had to go through this and eventually seeing their reactions. But Brody kind of understands that “mommy is sick.” AH, I can’t think of that or I’m gonna lose it.

And to end this bodily-fluidly full post, I need new undies! My shit did get real today, just not where I wanted it to. #cancerhatespanties #victoriassecrethereIcome #canIgetacancerdiscount

Here’s the latest and the greatest VLOG from yours truly.

[enter corny music in 5, 4, 3, 2… VLOG]

My heart is full but my bowels are ugly,

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